Couples Counselling
What to Expect
The first couples session is an intake and assessment session. During this together we will talk about what is bringing you as a couple to counselling, and the answer may be different for both of you and that is okay! I'll ask questions about you as a couple, and then I will spend about 10-15mins with both of you individually. During the individual time, I will go through some intake questions to get to know you as individual people a little better. After this, we will come back together and chat about what future sessions look like and where we will start.
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My Approach
As a couples therapist, depending on the couples needs, I am guided by Gottman Couples Therapy, Internal Family Systems, and Emotionally Focused Therapy. My goal is always to support you as a couple and as individuals within a couple. I look at what areas within your relationship may need some shifting and perhaps where there is some individual work that can be done to support the relationship. I believe in being upfront, honest, and clear, about what I am witnessing in the relationship dynamic and meet you with empathy, hope, and a variety of tools that may help.
Limits to Couples Therapy
As a couples therapist, I am in support of the relationship and the hope that it can get to a place where it is thriving. However, there are circumstances where couples therapy is contraindicated and I will not work with a couple. Such circumstances include, if there is active characterological abuse, if one individual does not want to disclose a past or current affair and has informed me of such affair, in some cases of active addiction, and if there are severe psychological disorders present. In these cases, couples therapy is rarely beneficial and may cause more harm than good. I will support the individuals to seek individual help and refer them out.
How Many Sessions Does It Take?
This is dependent on the couple and the issues that they are facing. Therapy in general takes time and effort simply because change takes time and effort. This is especially true when there is two of you! To create change in a relationship it takes active effort on both individual parts, a willingness to engage in the exercises offered and an active choice to put into practice the tools that we agree may be helpful.
Usually, a minimum of 5-6 sessions is necessary to see a shift.